Sunday, July 8, 2012

Prayer Time...the robot has gone dormant

During our prayer, I whispered in Drake’s ear, with his Aunt by my side that he be protected and the surgeon’s hands be guided by the Lord.  I felt peace. After the prayer I whispered to Drake, “Where did mom say she was, even when you can’t see her?” he pointed to his heart. I said, “That’s right!”  I knew Dr. Lloyd would do his best and Drake knew I was with him no matter what.

“It’s time, said the round faced tech.” We walked out the pre-op door, I gave him one last kiss on the head, and tears flowed. The mother had won the battle, I could no longer hold it in. My son could be blind and I had no idea how to help him. The cold of the room made chills run up my arms.  I told him I loved him and I’d see him shortly.

I passed Dr. Lloyd eating a snack before entering the OR in the hallway.  I found that strange… I guess Dr.’s need to eat too. Hopefully, he was loading up on protein. I wondered was he eating in anticipation of not being able to eat due to a long surgery? I once again was on the treadmill of crazy thoughts.  Get off the crazy train I told myself.  Dr. Lloyd explained he knew I was stressed (I was like oh ya think!)  and he had a son that was 9 and a daughter that was 11.  I said, “Treat my son like that’s yours on that table.” He promised he’d take the very best care of him that he could. I also made him promise that after 30 minutes to send someone if it’s worse or he was blind. He agreed and I turned around and said, “You take good care of him”. He nodded and walked down the empty hallway. It was actually like a movie out of Hollywood.

The waiting game….
We passed the round face tech again and I told here we were going to go grab some food.  She said she would get me in the cafeteria if anything went bad or not as planned. 

We browsed the gift shop.  I remember my stomach being so upset that had I passed anymore gas, you’d think a baby needed its diaper changed. IBS had kicked in!  We bought a few things for Drake’s brothers and some much needed flip flops and headed next door to the cafeteria.  We grabbed lunch to share and went back into the waiting area.  Minutes later, out came Dr. Lloyd.  

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